The midget "shitted" himself?

R Kelly. Chapter 10 of Trapped In The Closet. The midget shitted himself. That's what the song says, if you want to call it a song. I saw the video on VH1 the other day, watched about 3 minutes of it and wondered why there was a Mad TV skit on VH1. But this was for real, a video for Trapped In The Closet, the "Opera" written and performed by R Kelly. Um, each chapter is the same damn song! Now I understand that this is one continuous story and that would account for it sounding the same, but it's so insipid and uninspired I can't believe it. I had formed my opinion after watching the video but then I felt that wasn't fair since I had only heard a portion of it. Now, I wasn't gonna go out and buy it so I listened to the samples on iTunes. Yup, it sucks. Chapter 10 it says that the midget shitted himself. I can't get over that.

I decided to do a little research and read some message boards to see what people liked about it and found that people are clearly divided over this. Of course, the most common argument that I found from the group that does like it is that the people that are "hatin" on it are doing so because of the child molesting, legal fracas Kelly was involved in. Nope, the songs suck. The other excuse is that people are jealous of Kelly's talent and so they don't like it. Uh-uh, that's not talent, that's clever marketing.

Whether or not R Kelly's heart was really into this I'll never know but I find it hard to believe that anyone would find this drivel even remotely entertaining. It's good for a laugh or a roll of the eyes, but that's about it. I'd love to hear some fans of this give me a good reason for why you like it. Seriously, I'm all for healthy debate. Just don't type in all caps and try to throw some punctuation into your sentences occasionally. That craps almost harder to understand than these songs.

R U KDNG ME R. Kelly?

Pandora, the online jukebox

My friend Dennis told me about this site called Pandora where you create a "station" based on a favorite group or song. Then it plays similar songs that you can customize to create the perfect stream of music and you might even discover music you've never heard of. It's a great site, works really well and it's nice because I'm always on the lookout for new music. Check it out! Click here for Pandora...

Look out Spokane...

The word is out! Our very own dumbgunblog has been listed as a site of interest in the Spokesman Review Local Blogs section. Soon the city will be buzzing with tales of political intrigue, musical interests, rock posters, movie & television reviews, and even a little Al Franken for good measure. Be sure to head down to Boo Radleys and take a look at some of our t-shirts available there. You can check them out here as well. Thanks for stopping by and have a great day fellow Spokaneers!

R.I.P.

"I'd rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints
Sinners are much more fun...
And only the good die young"

Whether it was pressure from the AFA or America's inability to ingest without someone making the choo-choo sound, this is a sad time for television.

Arrested Development, we hardly knew thee.

Illustration Friday: Strength

This illustration has a little history so get a cup o' cocoa, put on those fuzzy Taz slippers and settle in kiddies. I was working on a website for a friend and I had originally envisioned a robot/propoganda/50's scifi vibe for the site and this was the image I created to get the ball rolling. Well, the site is going ahead with a different theme so I was left with this dangerous machine who was hell bent on finding his way into cyberspace in order to take over. You see, the concept wasn't abandoned for lack of interest, we abandoned it for the good of mankind. I mean, just look at him, he's terrifying! He actually crashed a few computers and wiped out a few bank cards before we stopped him. I was able to glean some semblance of control over him, but he's still dangerous, you can see it in his black, lifeless eyes. I infused him with just enough dna coding from rebels and assassins that not only is he methodical, he's also quite mad. The biomechanics coursing through his veins are just enough to feed his lust for domination but he wants more, he needs more. He's come to the city looking for an endless supply of humans to devour and he won't leave until there is nothing left. His hand is on fire from catching a missile fired at him by a hapless soldier who's just as frightened as those he is supposed to be protecting. The only thing that stopped him from destroying the world was VH1's "I Love The 80's" where he first learned about the 1986 film Short Circuit and learned what he thought was his true namesake, No. 5. It was merely a coincidence that I named him No. 5, but it may have just saved the human race. Just be sure to call him Johnny.

Another Brendan Benson song

Chink The Armor

Another great song that didn't make Alternative To Love (though not as great as Trouble With You. Love that song).

Illustration Friday: Night

Ah night. A mysterious world that twists our minds into dreams of falling naked and landing on a seatless bicycle in front of our junior high school algebra class. A cold and dark place filled with all the creatures that fear the daylight hour. When we stay up far too late, driven by a need to complete our latest Illustration Friday entry before it becomes too late to do so. Thursday afternoon, is too close to the deadline, why bother. Must get it done! If this creature gets ahold of the moon, we're screwed. Sleep tight friends, for tomorrow there may be a piece of the moon on your doorstep, along with some monster poo big enough to cover your car.