Hey Iran, Come on Down

You are the next contestant on "Let's Invade the Axis of Evil"! Yes kids, mark your calendars, because it is only a matter of time. Does any of the following rhetoric sounds familiar: "exporting terror," "dangerous, rogue nation," "will not be allowed to continue to develop these dangerous technologies"? Iran has recently taken steps to resume its development of purportedly civilian nuclear energy. The U.S. immediately stepped up the rhetoric to alert level orange, and Dick Cheney had 3 minor heart attacks. The administration has rubber-stamped the first step in whatever invasion plans it has, by saying that Iran will face U.N. sanctions if it does not desist immediately. Ask Cuba how effective U.N. sanctions are. What are they going on now, 60 years of sanctions? Sure, there's no paper, and all the cars are Model-Ts, but the country still technically functions. And since our sweet, successful invasion of Iraq, against all morality and U.N. pleading, we have made sure that the U.N. is a toothless lion. Sending Iran to face U.N. sanctions, which have no hope of being effective, check. What's next? Oh, let's find an expert to tell us that Iran is very dangerous, and poses and immediate threat to the security not just of the U.S. (it's never just about Americans, how shallow do you think we are), but the entire universe. Hmm, Iran expert, anyone, anyone? Bueller? Yes, you there, in the back, your name is Alireza Jafarzadeh? Please tell us something to frighten us. "Well, America, Iran has been secretly developing nuclear weapons in underground facilities. They hate you all, and they want to kill you." Thank you Mr. Jafarzadeh. Dr. J. is the president of Strategic Policy Consulting, and a Fox News Foreign Affairs Consultant. Okay, so we have previously labelled the country as part of the mythic "Axis of Evil." Check. We have increased rhetoric. Check. We have an expert. Check. But the all important ingredient...oil? Are there vast reserves of oil in Iran? Well, no, but here's the cool part. They do have one of the most important pipelines in the world running through their country, from the Caspian Sea to the Persian Gulf. Now that is oil we don't control, and folks, you don't want that. Hell, it isn't even their oil.

Anyway, keep watching, it'll get scarier as the year rolls on.

"But what can I do," you ask? Well, the government would prefer you just sit back and be frightened. You're good at that. Just don't say anything over the phone. It's tapped. But that's just part of the small price you pay for Freedom. Oppression. Yes, that makes perfect sense. Oppression, suppression, trampling of liberty and ideals. That's the price you pay for Freedom. So, sit back and relax. Or, vote in the mid-term elections, if you have a candidate available. Vote like the good people of Virginia, who tossed their conservative lapdog governor and got themselves a real governor, one who doesn't sit back and wait for things to get worse. And if you listen closely, he'll be the guy delivering the Democratic response to Bush's always-entertaining State of the Union tomorrow night. At least he won't have to take questions from the audience this time. And hey, just think how easy iot will be to convert all of our Iraq pro-war propaganda to Iran. It's only one letter after all. They can even recycle all the old documents and press releases.