home | who we are | faq | Contact | sausages | blog

Tuesday, January 31

Alito bit of common sense, please

Let me begin by saying that I am a Democrat. And more than that, I am a liberal's liberal, an academic, and a poet. So when the conservative a-holes target their broad-sweeping derogatory comments at someone, they are usually talking about me. I don't mind. What I do mind are dumb Democrats. We (which will for the rest of this post will mean, "we Democrats") are in roughly the same position as the GOP was in the mid-90s when Uncle Newt's Republican Revolution took place. We had a sitting President, into his second term, but with somewhat sagging approval numbers. It is safe to say that Clinton, at that point, was beset by controversy. That controversy, regardless of how lame it was, or how it ignored the real progress that his administration was making (I am ignoring the bungled mess that was made out of Medicare reform, the result of which has been the nefarious HMO system we are saddled with now), made him vulnerable. The GOP then swept a number of mid-term races and took over as the majority party.

Well, here we are, heading into mid-term season, in the middle of a second term, the President's numbers are (more justifiably than Clinton's) "down" (to be generous), and he is beset by a number of controversies. I will catalog them quickly, just because it makes me feel good. Jack Abramoff (special interest superpimp). Vietnam...I mean, Iraq (its only going to get messier). Wiretapping US citizens without warrants (the price we pay for freedom? You only object if you are doing something wrong? Funk that noise.). Now we find out that the CIA and US Army have kidnapped the wives of suspected and confirmed insurgent and terrorist leaders in an effort to flush out said bad guys (this is one of the most despicable and disturbing revelations yet). There are more, but I digress.

All of this should create an ideal atmosphere for the Democrats to take back control of Congress. So here is what we should not do: Make ourselves look like idiots. Case in point: Alito's confirmation. It has been clear to anyone paying attention that the guy was going to get the confirmation. Yes, he is boring and uber-Conservative, but we already defeated one crony (anyone remember her name?), and we didn't have the numbers to defeat this one. Worse than not having the numbers, we knew we didn't have the numbers. So Kennedy and Kerry decide to attempt the filibuster anyway. No chance it was going to succeed. Here are the problems.

1. We look like fools. We accuse Bush of being out of touch, but fight a battle we know we are going to lose. It forced vulnerable Democrats to side with the GOP, and moderate Dems to look like Repubs. Not good. It makes it seem like the Democrats still don't have their act together, do not act as a unified body, and won't be capable of leading the Congress if they take the majority.

2. Kerrendy will say that they were fighting the good fight, fighting what needed to be fought. Bullshit. They were pulling a publicity stunt, so that Kerry can look more decisive when he runs in 2008 (the knock in 2004 was that he waffled, exemplified by his voting record on the Iraq War combined with his later recanting of his vote and endless attempts to clarify (Now his campaign ads will say "Kerry was ALWAYS against Alito. For sure. No waffling. We mean it")). I don't want Kerry to run in 2008. He's already a loser. Ask Bob Dole how easy it was to run the second time, when he had already lost once. Didn't go so well. And we need to put a candidate up there who people can rally behind (Not Kerry, and especially not Hillary). If you really want to fight the good fight, get us the hell out of Iraq, make sure we won't go into Iran, make sure the Patriot Act doesn't get renewed, and get us the hell out of a deficit. Oh, and stop treating US citizens like criminals (see also: wiretapping, and a little known provision in the Patriot Act that curtails financial aid to students who have enough credits for a degree. The result of which was to boot my buddy E. out of school unless he paid for it himself. Apparently that's what terrorists do: live on financial aid).

Now I am not saying that I am in favor of Alito on the bench. I'm not (and I live in a state that had one of only four yes-voting Democrats, the smallest support from an opposition party in US history). I am terrified that they might get the votes to repeal important decisions like Roe (there will be a test case within 3 months, I guarantee it). But here's the thing. The whole history of the Supreme Court is conservative, in the traditional sense, meaning that they don't like to upset the status quo. Also, the conservatives do not have a majority yet. We can count on Roberts, Scalia, now Alito, and usually Thomas to uphold (politically) conservative ideology, but the swing votes are still pretty independent. Clarence Thomas has surprised alot of pundits by not always voting along "party" lines. Justices are supposed to be apolitical, and some of them can still be counted on to do their jobs with respect, dignity and fairness.

So let's focus on getting our guys some seats in Congress, take back the majority and get a Democrat in office in '08. To do that, we need to appear reasonable and responsible. And when we have already lost a fight, we need to move on the to the next one, not drag it out as long as possible and make sure everyone in Ohio and Florida (the only electoral states that matter) know that we lost the fight.

Monday, January 30

Hey Iran, Come on Down

You are the next contestant on "Let's Invade the Axis of Evil"! Yes kids, mark your calendars, because it is only a matter of time. Does any of the following rhetoric sounds familiar: "exporting terror," "dangerous, rogue nation," "will not be allowed to continue to develop these dangerous technologies"? Iran has recently taken steps to resume its development of purportedly civilian nuclear energy. The U.S. immediately stepped up the rhetoric to alert level orange, and Dick Cheney had 3 minor heart attacks. The administration has rubber-stamped the first step in whatever invasion plans it has, by saying that Iran will face U.N. sanctions if it does not desist immediately. Ask Cuba how effective U.N. sanctions are. What are they going on now, 60 years of sanctions? Sure, there's no paper, and all the cars are Model-Ts, but the country still technically functions. And since our sweet, successful invasion of Iraq, against all morality and U.N. pleading, we have made sure that the U.N. is a toothless lion. Sending Iran to face U.N. sanctions, which have no hope of being effective, check. What's next? Oh, let's find an expert to tell us that Iran is very dangerous, and poses and immediate threat to the security not just of the U.S. (it's never just about Americans, how shallow do you think we are), but the entire universe. Hmm, Iran expert, anyone, anyone? Bueller? Yes, you there, in the back, your name is Alireza Jafarzadeh? Please tell us something to frighten us. "Well, America, Iran has been secretly developing nuclear weapons in underground facilities. They hate you all, and they want to kill you." Thank you Mr. Jafarzadeh. Dr. J. is the president of Strategic Policy Consulting, and a Fox News Foreign Affairs Consultant. Okay, so we have previously labelled the country as part of the mythic "Axis of Evil." Check. We have increased rhetoric. Check. We have an expert. Check. But the all important ingredient...oil? Are there vast reserves of oil in Iran? Well, no, but here's the cool part. They do have one of the most important pipelines in the world running through their country, from the Caspian Sea to the Persian Gulf. Now that is oil we don't control, and folks, you don't want that. Hell, it isn't even their oil.

Anyway, keep watching, it'll get scarier as the year rolls on.

"But what can I do," you ask? Well, the government would prefer you just sit back and be frightened. You're good at that. Just don't say anything over the phone. It's tapped. But that's just part of the small price you pay for Freedom. Oppression. Yes, that makes perfect sense. Oppression, suppression, trampling of liberty and ideals. That's the price you pay for Freedom. So, sit back and relax. Or, vote in the mid-term elections, if you have a candidate available. Vote like the good people of Virginia, who tossed their conservative lapdog governor and got themselves a real governor, one who doesn't sit back and wait for things to get worse. And if you listen closely, he'll be the guy delivering the Democratic response to Bush's always-entertaining State of the Union tomorrow night. At least he won't have to take questions from the audience this time. And hey, just think how easy iot will be to convert all of our Iraq pro-war propaganda to Iran. It's only one letter after all. They can even recycle all the old documents and press releases.

Threadless.com t-shirt competition

Hey all,

I recently submitted a design to Threadless.com, an online t-shirt competition. I'm doing pretty good vote wise, but every bit helps! Please check it out and throw a few digits my way...papa needs a new pair of shoes.

My Threadless.com Submission

Thursday, January 19

Featured T-Shirt: Goes to 11



This was one of the earliest shirts we designed here at Dumbgun and it's proven to be one of the most popular ones. Just about anyone knows what "Goes To 11" means and where it comes from (Spinal Tap for the 3 people that don't know), but does anybody really go to 11 in real life? Does wearing this shirt automatically imply 11-ness or is it merely a suggestion that you could "take it there" if you wanted to? Perhaps in order to go to 11 you would need to do take everything you do to the extreme. Don't just eat a bowl of cereal, eat a bucket of it. Don't just get on the bus, comandeer it. After work, don't take the elevator but rather jump out the window*. Take "going to 11" to 11 and really make a difference! Do it to silence the critic who called "Shark Sandwich" shit sandwich. Do it for David, Nigel, Derek and John "Stumpy" Pepys/Eric Childs/Peter "James" Bond/Mick Shrimpton/Ric Shrimpton and the other 7 drummers who took it to 11 for the band.

*Please don't jump out any buildings. We don't have much money for a lawsuit and even if we did I'd rather spend it on a home theatre than your medical bills.