Showing off our hometown pride, these shirts aim to make even the most fashion illiterate folks seem hip. Just so long as you don’t cut the sleeves off or wear it with your “muffin-top” jeans. Spokane is about to get a whole lot cooler.

P.S. These are totally bitchin’ but my wife would never let me out of the house with them on…

A little project DRock came up with and we shot way back in 1999. Damn, I feel old.

Nick and Jessica fan club president struck by news of breakup
Nov 23 2005

Patty Spillchuk of Pulaski, Tennesee was struck down on Wednesday, November 23 by the news of the Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson break up. She was taken to Hillside Hospital for injuries sustained in the accident. “It just came out of nowhere,” Spillchuk said from her room in the mental ward, “I just didn’t see it coming”. Officer Mark Medownuh was the first respondant on scene at the time of the accident, “I’ve never seen anything like it. We all saw it coming, it was pretty obvious. But there she was crossing the street and bam! She went down like a sack of potatoes. It’s sad really, she had nice pants on.”

News of the breakup came just the day before Thanksgiving, prompting Patty to skip a holiday dinner with her family. “It’s imperative that I try to reach Nick and Jessica” Patty said from a padded observation room “they’re going to need my help during this ordeal. It’s a test of their relationship really, and I’m a part of that. This will come as such a shock to the world and I’ll need to update my website (www.pattynickjessicashrine.com) since I doubt anyone else will be reporting this tragedy. If only there was some magazine coverage…”

The self proclaimed president of the Nick and Jessica fan club since 2001, 42 year old Patty spends her free time away from running her website working as a dessert toppings supervisor for a local all-you-can-eat buffet. She claims that she can influence Nick’s meal choices with telepathy and also says that she and Jessica sat in the same car on a roller coaster when they were children. Patty lives with 7 3-legged cats and has a collection of charms blow pops and flies to work on a winged buffalo.

Patty’s physician, Dr. Johnson, says her physical wounds were superficial, but worries about her mental state. “Miss Spillchuk is suffering from severe dillusions, investing her time and energies into the events of two people who don’t know or care about her and that have no bearing on her life. The tragedy of it all is that she’s turned her back on her family and friends, the ones who are here with her at her bedside during this ordeal. Her obsession with the lives of these ‘reality’ stars has crossed a very dangerous line.”

Patty’s 98 year old grandmother Mable, who exptects this to be her last Thanksgiving,  had hoped to see her over the holidays. When asked if she thought she would see Patty at Christmas, Mable said “Mmmnngghhh, snkkkkkkk, drool…” and then fell asleep. This is your reality Patty, grasp it now before it slips away.

Americans love a fight. Hell, I do too, but you have to strive to make sense of it. Sometimes you have to think it out. Work it out in your melon. Have a debate with someone. Fuck, even have a debate with yourself, but think it out. Do not only look at both sides, look at all sides, then form an opinion. Don’t just gobble it up as “news” because ol’ Bill says there’s a “War on Christmas”. I have no idea how shit like this trickles to the mainstream media either, but I have a sneaking suspicion it involves corporate interest and that means $$$.

Where are the Murrows who’ll speak truth to power? Where are the Welles to make veiled biopics about Rupert Murdoch? Is it fear that holds them back? Is it greed that suppresses their voice?

C’mon Christians, why can’t you just learn to share. This isn’t the United States of Jesus. There’s a thing called freedom of religion here. It’s what makes this country great. It’s what wars have been fought for. Why is it always the Christians who offend so easily. Wasn’t it Jesus who taught of love, compassion and tolerance? Why the hate? Isn’t this the season of giving? I wish these right wing and/or Christian wackos would give the rest of us something for Christmas. Personally, I’d love a break.

I decided to do a little research and read some message boards to see what people liked about it and found that people are clearly divided over this. Of course, the most common argument that I found from the group that does like it is that the people that are “hatin” on it are doing so because of the child molesting, legal fracas Kelly was involved in. Nope, the songs suck. The other excuse is that people are jealous of Kelly’s talent and so they don’t like it. Uh-uh, that’s not talent, that’s clever marketing.

Whether or not R Kelly’s heart was really into this I’ll never know but I find it hard to believe that anyone would find this drivel even remotely entertaining. It’s good for a laugh or a roll of the eyes, but that’s about it. I’d love to hear some fans of this give me a good reason for why you like it. Seriously, I’m all for healthy debate. Just don’t type in all caps and try to throw some punctuation into your sentences occasionally. That craps almost harder to understand than these songs.

R U KDNG ME R. Kelly?

“I’d rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints
Sinners are much more fun…
And only the good die young”

Whether it was pressure from the AFA or America’s inability to ingest without someone making the choo-choo sound, this is a sad time for television.

Arrested Development, we hardly knew thee.

You either love Al Franken, or you don’t spend a lot of your time thinking. My favorite line Repubs give about Al is that he “simplifies everything”.